I remember thinking oh GOSH it’s going to be horrible, stories of poo and wee everywhere, images of it all over my hands – it taking years, my kid being the one in year 6 in nappies. It seemed so daunting & scary. I suppose – like most things in motherhood – this shit scared me (no pun intended)
So – the thing is – no one really tells you WHEN you should start right?
All kids are different too, and all develop differently for different things – so for us it was a bit of trial and error to start. We weren’t in a rush to potty train either – and have heard that if you try and force it, anxiety can arise around going to the toilet and it can actually have a negative effect. So we decided to take a slow and steady approach.
SO WE STARTED....POTTY TRAINING - LET THE FUN BEGIN
Let the fun begin. About 2 months after Harpers 2nd birthday (so 26 months say) we noticed our friends kids who were around the same age seemed to be starting to potty train. We thought we’d take step one and buy a potty. We ended up getting the SkipHop Potty from The Stork Nest – it was a bit of fun with the flush function.
Chris & I didn’t want to make a big deal of it – we put it in the living room – and basically chatted to her about what it was. She would sit on it – in her clothes, and that was about it. I suppose for us it was getting her familiar with sitting down to wee. Even in her clothes and nappy. Then about 2 -3 months later we started getting her naked around the house and letting her sit on it naked. She didn’t do anything in it, but again – it was getting her familiar. Around this time we also let her watch 2 mini songs on TV around Potty Training. One was The Wiggles Potty Training song, the other was Cocomelon’s potty training song. She loved them – and would ask for them over and over. Because she was naked – a lot – there were accidents around the house – the odd poo – that was fun – and the odd wee. So far – this wasn’t as scary as it seemed.
WE TOOK A STEP BACK
We kept this up over Christmas & New Year – there was a lot going on – travelling back and forth to Canberra so just let lie. Then in mid January Chris and I discussed going a little harder with it. I reached out to friends to see what they did – took some advice here and there. There were some 3 day programs people recommended but I didn’t have the time to have her right next to me for 3 days straight at that point.
We would always use language like:
“Harper do you want to wee on the potty?”
“Harper where do we do a wee wee?”
She would answer – “on the potty”
Harper understood the concept – it just hadn’t connected the dots yet.
LOCKDOWN MEANT WE HAD TIME
Until the Melbourne snap lockdown. Valentines weekend 2021. We thought – right – we are stuck at home for 5 days – no clothes, no nappies, let’s do this. The conversation was had that this weekend she wasn’t going to wear a nappy – so if she needed to do a wee – the she had to sit on the potty. We also had a reward, If she did a wee on the potty – she got a chocolate & a Thomas the Tank engine train. Well – that’s all we heard for the next 5 days.
I am all about positive reinforcement & any accidents are just that – accidents. So no one was ever in trouble and no one ever got upset or angry at an accident. There were accidents. A few.
Then on about day 3 – she did it. A wee in the potty. We all celebrated (finally) & she was so so excited. We jumped in the car (Coles was still open) & went to get a train & some chocolate for her. From then it was all about encouragement & reward. Each time she did a wee – she would get a little bit of choccie. For the next 2 days she did more wee’s. If we went out anywhere for a walk I’d put a nappy on her. Then ask her to tell me if she wanted a wee.
CONFUSION CAN HAPPEN...
This part didn’t work so well. She got confused – and with the nappy on she thought it was ok to wee in it – so we almost went backwards. So we decided to get her some panties. At first she didn’t want to wear them. Refused. We kept calm. Kept offering – showing her that mummy wears panties – and that big girls wear panties and only babies wear nappies. It took about 2 days but eventually with encouragement every day, reminding her of her reward – she put them on.
At daycare the next week (after the snap lockdown) halfway through the week we decided to send her with no nappy on and 283746 pairs of panties. There were accidents. On days where she wasn’t at daycare we also just had on panties. Nappies were now for nap times and sleep only. More accidents of course. Again – there was never any raised voices, never any anger. We used language like “that’s ok Harper – next time tell mummy and daddy and we can find a toilet.” We would keep asking her where she should go to do a wee and poo and she would say the potty or big girl toilet so it was becoming ingrained in her little brain.
Every hour we would try as well – take her to the potty or toilet and just get her to sit on it.
AND NOW NUMBER 2'S....
About 2-3 weeks in – she finally got the hang of wees. So the reward of chocolate stopped but she got a sticker each time she did a wee on the potty or big girl toilet.
We took the potty everywhere – and would ask her every half an hour if she needed to go. The amount of times we pulled over on the side of the road for her to wee in the potty was hilarious. She even had some “wee’s in the bushes” when we didn’t have the potty on us which made her giggle. The chocolate was now the reward for poos. God help us.
Poo’s took longer – and I’m talking a lot longer. At first she went 4 days with no poo – I could tell she was holding on. For ages she would only poo in her nappy at nap time, or – yup – in her pants. Again we didn’t get upset at her – we stayed calm. Positive reinforcement and reiterated if she needed to do a poo – she had to tell mummy or daddy. If she did a poo -she got choccie. We constantly talked about how mummy and daddy do wee’s and poo’s on the toilet & so do big girls.
ACCIDENTS AND RECOGNITION
There were accidents in the park, at daycare, in the supermarket. Wee’s she had nailed – except if she was over excited or having too much fun. Queue play centre madness. Over the course of 2 months she probably had around 5-8 wee accidents. After about a month of wearing panties – she finally did a poo on the potty. She was so excited – we all cheered once more. A great milestone. You see – kids and adults alike – respond to recognition & reward. So it’s important to celebrate every win.
NAILED IT!
It’s been 3 months now since that weekend in Feb. At day care she hasn’t had an accident in over 2 weeks. (She is now 2 years 8 months) She asks us to close the door if she’s going to poo (so cute – loves her privacy haha) and prefers the big girl toilet over the potty.
It hasn’t been nearly as scary as we thought – we didn’t put any pressure on it – no one gets angry & everyone gets excited when she does one or the other. My top tips would be:
- take it slow – no pressure – start by just sitting on a potty
- Have a reward system. She still gets choccie and a sticker in her sticker book if she does a poo on the toilet
- Take the potty everywhere.
- Pack extra wipes and panties – even on walks
- Encourage them to go every 45 mins or so. If you’re going – take them with you – “mummy’s going to wee – do you want to try?”
- Persistence, consistency & patience. Like everything I talk about – these are the key things. They will get there eventually.
It can be a fun experience and a little frustrating at times – but remember you are teaching them something so be proud of you and be proud of them.
