EScape to the Ridge House

Mum guilt.  It’s there, it’s real – and no matter how many people say not to have it – it’s something that’s ingrained as soon you become a mother.  

Whether it’s taking a couple of hours for a massage, having lunch with friends, going to the supermarket alone (oh man walking those aisles alone is bliss) in the back of your mind is that little voice that says, “you should be with your kids……..you’ve left them…..you’re their mother….you should be with them…..” And you flick it away like a fly in your face – that just won’t leave you alone.

Back in June, I had a retreat planned at the Ridge House in Yarragon, Gippsland.  It was all organised, the ladies joining me were pumped – and the concept was to escape city life for a couple of nights – leave that mum guilt behind, practice self-care and gratitude & be able to completely let go and look after you for once.  I had chosen the Ridge House for many reasons.  

My prior visit back in Feb had me yearning to go back.  In the middle of beautiful Gippsland amongst the wildlife, and rolling hills, miles away from city life, and not a car, highway, truck or construction site to be heard.  We woke to chickens, birdsong, and saw the sunrise with nothing in the way.  The mornings were lazy – with fresh bread, eggs from the farm, and local preserves waiting for us, and the days were spent reading on the deck with nothing but natures beautiful playground to look at.

Beauty in the country

The house itself with its 4 bedrooms, beautiful large living room with fireplace, and homely kitchen and dining room would be perfect for an intimate retreat.  The large deck would be perfect to host a workout session in the morning, yoga in the afternoon & a place to come and just be.  The local market encompassed everything I loved about good food and produce – which married perfectly with the nutrition aspect of my vision – alongside the farm next door with fresh garlic, herbs, fruits & vegetables picked that very day.  I was so excited to host my first retreat and really give these women a sense of calm away from their busy lives as mothers, wives & friends.  Kristy – the Ridge House owner & host of this most glorious home – was always so welcoming – loving and warm – she definitely added to the desire.

The retreat

Of course – like with most planned events these days – harsher restrictions came into play – and unfortunately, the retreat had to be cancelled.  I was devastated – the girls needed this, it was something they were holding on to after the year that had been.  Lockdown after lockdown, homeschooling, parks closed – these mummas needed a break and I was going to help them.  

I contacted the girls, cancelled the suppliers, apologised to the sponsors, and called Kristy to cancel the whole weekend – I felt horrible.  

A chance to recharge

When I called she offered something …..” Danni, why don’t you come with a friend”.  The restrictions had meant I couldn’t have more than 2 households together – but going with 1 friend would be allowed.  My immediate reaction was – no.  If I wasn’t going to “work” it wasn’t fair on Chris or Harper.  I couldn’t let him look after her all weekend – while I relaxed and chilled at the Ridge House……could I?  Chris turned to me and said without a breath “you’re going”.  I burst into tears – the mum guilt struck me like a knife.  The thought of doing something for “me” – for having 2 whole nights and 3 days to completely recharge, look after my mental health and relax made me feel so bad.  Chris wasn’t having any of it.  He had already planned a whole weekend with Harper – he wanted me to go.  “You need to go – you’ve been working flat out  – you deserve it”.  I was a blubbering mess.  I immediately called Bethany (one of the girls on the retreat who I had worked with before – so knew we got on and who I knew would have also organised the weekend around her children) and told her what Kirsty and Chris had said.  She was thrilled.  So the next day she picked me up at 9am – and 2 mums, who had never spent any time together – left behind our husbands and children to go and completely unwind from city, mum, wife, life for 2 nights.  

New friendships, new appreciation

In the car ride, we got to know each other more and the topic of mum guilt came up – how we both felt similar but at the same how we both needed this weekend more than anything.

We arrived and almost immediately we both felt a weight off our shoulders.  We were here – for 2 whole nights – kid-free, husband free, responsibility-free – to unwind, fill our cups, sleep, engage in a new friendship and completely relax.  We had plans of doing a walk and a workout each day – these quickly became non-existent – we both just completely gave in to what this was – a weekend to completely be free of routine, plans and just be.  

Self care

Self-care can look like a massage, a nail appointment, a lunch with friends, a movie – however – it doesn’t matter how lovely those are – they are short  – you finish the massage and you’re back to chaos.  At times when I’ve had time away for an hour or 2 or 3, when your return to life at home – the beautiful chaos that is motherhood – it can be quickly forgotten that you even stepped away for a moment.  

Getting away for 2 nights – to completely relax and recharge – now that was self-care.  Letting go of mum guilt was hard – however, it was the only way to refill our cups, to allow us to return to our families ready to face our busy lives with full hearts and heads.  

The Ridge House made that possible – Kristy made it possible.  Being at one with nature, visiting the market, eating local produce, indulging in treats made by Kristy herself and above all – welcoming a new friendship with zero expectations made it the perfect mum escape.

If you are looking for somewhere to unwind once our state opens up again – I can’t recommend the Ridge House enough.  Only 1.5 hours from Melbourne city, but amongst the beauty of the countryside in Gippsland – I promise – that mum guilt will fade, your cup will be filled – and you will be ready to face anything that is thrown at you when you return.

Look after you babe – it’s so worth it.

Kristy is currently unable to have people at her beautiful property due to lockdown. If you would like to book this beautiful place – and secure your spot once the world opens up please head to The Ridge House