OMG – so I haven’t written a blog in about 6 weeks and my excuses are huge – and all revolve around being pregnant. The 2 weeks after my last blog were the most emotional of my life. I really struggled to stay happy and not cry over every little thing. I found myself stressing over everything, over thinking everything and found I didn’t have 2 seconds to do anything for myself. I got myself worked up and it was a downward spiral. I was away for work during both weeks which made things worse as I was away from Chris and I didn’t get a chance to get my routine back like I was hoping after our weekend away. My gym routine was out of whack, my food routine was out of whack, I felt out of control, that I wasn’t doing the right things for the baby – basically I was a mess. Everything seemed to be so bad (it actually wasn’t but that’s how I felt).
One morning during that fortnight I hadn’t felt the baby move in more than 24hours so got myself in to a panic as well. A quick trip to the doctor showed she was absolutely fine but had turned herself in to the breach position – again my stress was impacting me. Then I woke up 2 days later feeling like I’d been hit by a bus and had to take my first sick day. Then because I didn’t feel up to writing that played on my mind and I felt like not only was I not getting anything done – but now I was getting my followers and my blog down.
I’ve learnt so much about myself during this pregnancy – a lot of which I’ll go through a a later date – but what did I learn about those 2 weeks. I was trying to do too much. I was overcommitting myself, trying to do everything for everyone especially at work and was actually stressing myself out. I’m grateful that I had Chris bringing this to my attention. I’m sure he was over me crying over literally nothing and thought if he didn’t say something he too would start crying as well. Here’s an example for you (are you ready…..)
Me – “babe what would you like for dinner”
Chris – “I really don’t mind babe you decide I’ll eat whatever”
Me – “but what if I cook something you don’t like and then you don’t want it”
Chris – “I like everything you cook”
Me – insert crying……….yup
Chris – “why are you crying”
Me – “because I want to cook something you like and I’m worried you won’t like it and then you’ll be unhappy”
Chris – insert very confused look on his face – probably because this has never happened and look it really didn’t warrant tears.
In my defence – I was also getting a bit annoyed and confused at getting upset at everything too.
2 things helped me get back on track. 1 – I got back from work on a Friday after complaining and crying to Chris the whole way home to find he had brought me a little care package. He really is the most thoughtful and loving man. It included chocolate (always needed), non alcoholic champagne, photos of him and me together and our little kittens, and a 2 hours mother to be spa package. Secondly, I rested. It was a long weekend and we didn’t do much at all. It was exactly what I needed to get my headspace back to where it needed to be. My whole life I’ve been a go go go kinda gal. I have at times found it hard to slow down and do get myself worked up – but I’ve realised that I’m not superwoman – as much as I’d like to think I am. I am human and I needed a time out. This didn’t make me lazy, or a failure, it’s what I needed to look after me.
After my 2 week mini meltdown I picked up my big girl pants and got myself back in to routine. Prepping food, planning my week, training most mornings, and most importantly I started saying no to things. The last 2 weeks have been so much better. Not only am I enjoying the pregnancy so much more, but I have more energy, I’m happier and my little munchkin is kicking and moving around so much which makes my heart sing.
If you are feeling over stressed, crying and emotional like I was – please be kind to yourself. Its ok to cry sometimes – you are growing a human and it’s tough work.
love and life
the Figure x
